My friends and I extended our teenage years well into our 30's. I suppose a lot of people my age did. It speaks volumes about our society that we behaved in such a silly fashion for so long and yet managed to become relatively stable "adults." I use the term loosely, because in many ways I still feel like a kid. I suspect many of you reading this do as well.
What is the Froolian Empire? It's a loose conglomerate nation-state that randomly and nomadically extends its power at various intervals. It also happens to exist wherever my friends happen to be at the moment.
It is useless to attempt a map of the Froolian Empire, as it has no formal boundaries. Basically, when someone moves to a new location, that area is annexed in the name of Froolia. The previous area is lost to attrition unless there is someone else there to hold it.
We all had titles as well, given out by the self-proclaimed President (or is it Emperor?) of Froolia, Trace Stevens. I forget my title now. I believe I've had a few over the years, but ultimately our fates are left to the whims of our supreme ruler. If he wishes to bestow a new title upon me, I as his humble servant will faithfully act in accord.
How did all of this come about? Good question. I'm at a loss to much of it myself. I know we played a LOT of Risk back in the day and I'm sure that between that and Castle Risk we adopted some of those rules to better mete out our political influence.
The main thing I remember is that Froolia was a neighboring country to Latveria (Doctor Doom's homeland) in the Marvel Comics. That's how we got the name. I seem to remember that it was spelled, "Fruhlia," or something similar in the actual comic, but I was corrected in a recent interview with our fearless leader. Clearly I was delusional or under the sway of an enemy power because it is obviously spelled, "with two O's and an A...and an I somewhere in the middle."
But all of this pales in importance to the single greatest contribution of the Froolian Empire - the language.
It's difficult to describe. You speak in code and make a voice like Ren Hoek using a funny Italian accent. "De queek a-browne fox-a yumped ov'r de lay-zee a-dog." That's the closest approximation I can type and still make sense. As I stated before, the real language was encoded. We could speak to each other for hours at a time (and often did) and no outsider had a clue what we were saying.
This space will be used to document the lost language of the Froolian Empire. If any of you come across or remember any vital information (or wish to amend anything I've mentioned or forgotten above), please forward it to me and I will add it to the official record.
My email is pwwhdr70@gmail.com.
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